| El Chat In Iceland | ||
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Every week I receive lots of letters from women complaining that their boyfriends or husbands are engaged in a little online lust-fest. Is cybersex really cheating? Does it mean he loves me less? Is looking at porn on the Internet as bad as flirting with someone anonymously in a chat room?
Most of the women who write to me believe that cybersex is cheating. Here's the rub: a surprising number of men (54% in fact, according to Divorce Magazine,) believe it's not. |
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Let me cut to the chase: Most guys these days are getting their butts KICKED by attractive women.
Like, really kicked. And I'm not just talking about guys that remind you of Beavis and Butthead. I'm talking even about guys that seem to have a LOT going for them. So what is going on? I'll tell you what's going on: 1. MOST guys in our society are willing to TOLERATE EXTRAORDINARY disrespect from women. 2. MOST guys are giving women the MESSAGE that they feel INFERIOR in general, and especially inferior to women. 3. Women are human beings, and as such, it is only HUMAN to start to believe that you really are *SPECIAL* if everyone around you treats you as if you are. And if you believe you are *special*, then you believe a double standard is only natural and fair. |
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This is because women come *pre-wired* with an internal template of what comprises a desirable mate, and a set of emotional trigger buttons that, when pushed, create that powerful emotional response called ATTRACTION that compels her to mate with the man who triggers it.
Most men have no idea that this mechanism exists or how to trigger it, so they do traditional *nice guy* things like buying dinners, gifts, and flowers... and giving women compliments... and calling them all the time (which usually have the OPPOSITE of the desired effect when used too much, and too early on). As I got to know more and more guys who were REALLY GOOD with women, I started to see that they weren't afraid to make fun of attractive women, bust on them, and even challenge them... but it was always done in a VERY FUNNY, even charming way. At first I just assumed that it was the fact that this pattern was just a technique that my friends were using to make conversation. Only after really paying attention, trying out this technique myself quite a bit, and LOOKING CLOSELY AT THE ACTUAL RESPONSES I WAS GETTING did I begin to realize the UNBELIEVABLY POWERFUL EMOTIONAL RESPONSES that this one concept was generating. And after working on it, testing it, refining it, and studying the finer points about women, men, and the whole *mating process* did I begin to really understand how well this worked. |
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